Today is the first day of the first month of the eleventh year of this century...in other words, 1-1-11. What is about the first of anything that is so daunting? Somehow the beginning of something is always so intimidating. Simply starting a thing is the hardest part. There is a quote I've heard, 'All journeys begin with a single step.' I am a queen of procrastination. Getting started on something is my biggest hurdle, that which keeps me from achieving my goals, my dreams. Even little things...I waited until the day before my sister visited to try the patchwork cover for a composition book. Yes, I ran into a few difficulties, mainly with underestimating what seam allowance to use, but it still came out beautifully. I procrastinated at trying the puppy chow (people chow?) recipe with the substitution of the peanut butter with nutella, as I was headed to a peanut free gathering. I made the batch less than 2 hours before I had to leave.
Why do I do this? Why do I procrastinate? Because taking the first step, the first action, is so scary. I have a big problem with fear. Fear of conflict, fear of difficulty, fear of anxiety. So, I tend to avoid situations that begat those fears....thus, procrastination.
While I don't know how to overcome fear, and procrastination, I do know that recognising the problem is the first step in overcoming it. As I used to hear on the G.I. Joe cartoons when I was a teen 'knowing is half the battle.' So, now I know what the trouble is, and can work to combat it. If I can take that first step.
And to hold myself accountable, here are my Five New Year Resolutions:
1. Eliminate debt by the end of the year (except for that incurred by #2)
2. Purchase reliable vehicle-preferably red
3. Finish and completely revise On a Moonless Night (a book I nearly finished writing during Nanowrimo)
4. Learn 200 signs (sign language)
5. Walk a million steps